Dealing with Worry, Part 2
Quick answer: To deal with worry, first catch yourself worrying, then redirect it rather than fighting it: extract any real problem and schedule Designated Problem Solving time for it, check the worry's accuracy against reality, and use mindfulness to return your focus to the present moment through your senses.
In Part 1 of Dealing with Worry, we covered what worry is, why we do it, and how it creates suffering: "Worry robs us of our ability to be present in our lives. It takes us away from what is important and leaves our minds preoccupied with potential problems that are unlikely to materialize." Part 2, written by Dr. Kristin Vaughn, is the practical half—what to actually do once you notice the worry.
What is the first step in dealing with worry?
Catch yourself worrying—noticing when it's happening, what themes repeat, and how it shows up in your body.
Ask yourself whether the same content keeps repeating. Ask whether tension is present during the worry, and where it's located. The key is that you're not just caught up in the worry; you're aware that it's happening and increasingly aware of its negative impact on you. That awareness opens the opportunity for change—because you can't just tell yourself to stop worrying. Have you ever tried that? It doesn't work. Instead of battling worry, we learn to redirect it and pay it less attention.
How do I tell useful problem-solving from useless worry?
Examine the worry and ask whether its thoughts are actually helping you—getting you closer to solving a real problem or discerning an important decision.
If there's a genuine issue that needs resolution, engaging thoughts about it makes sense and can be healthy. But with worry, our thoughts about the problem are in excess of what's needed to solve it—rehashing what's already been thought, keeping you stuck in a loop. Within a persistent money worry, for example, there may be real, solvable problems that can move you toward your financial goals; the rest is noise.
What is Designated Problem Solving?
Designated Problem Solving means setting aside a specific time and place to work on a real problem—so you can release it the rest of the day.
Keep a journal or workbook you open at certain times: jot ideas, list steps, or enlist a friend or expert with special knowledge. Then, when the worry intrudes elsewhere—say, while watching a movie—you can tell yourself, "Oh, there's my worry! But I don't need to think about this now because I'm already working on it." This is especially useful at bedtime or when you wake in the night: jot down the problem, close the journal, and go back to sleep. It has a designated time tomorrow.
How do I know if my worried thoughts are accurate?
Step back and ask whether the worry represents reality or overestimates the problem.
If you catch yourself worrying about ending up homeless, ask how likely that outcome really is. Health worries are a classic example: a mild leg twitch becomes ALS in the worried mind. Instead of researching on Google, evaluate the likelihood—most strange physical sensations are completely benign, and anything persistent can be evaluated by your doctor. A strategy from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is to write the worried thought in one column and a more accurate alternative next to it. Exaggerated: "If I don't get this job, I will never succeed." Alternative: "I want the job and will be disappointed if I don't get it, but there are lots of other opportunities." Practice the alternatives even before you fully believe them.
How does mindfulness help me let go of worry?
Mindfulness brings your focus from past and future—where worry lives—back to the here and now, and trains the skill of letting anxious thoughts go.
We can't rid ourselves of worry entirely; the goal is to practice releasing it: "I see you there, but I don't need you." The first worried thought is the hook, and we consciously decide not to take the bait. Return to the present through your senses: notice tension or butterflies in your body, receive the richness of sounds around you, or simply feel your feet on the ground. Formal practice helps too—visualization exercises like imagining thoughts as clouds passing in the sky or leaves floating on a stream remind you that you are the sky or the riverbank, not the thoughts. These are core skills taught in mindfulness-based therapy.
Five steps for using mindfulness to deal with worry
In summary: (1) notice the worry; (2) gently remind yourself that worry is not helping; (3) identify worry as a function of your mind—which is programmed for worry—not necessarily reality; (4) return to the present moment by focusing on your senses; (5) use visualization exercises to disengage from worried thoughts. Repeat whenever worry arises. It may not feel like progress at first, but your brain is beginning to change with each attempt. If worry has become constant or is disrupting sleep, work, or relationships, anxiety counseling can help.
Getting started. If worry is running your days and your nights, therapy can teach you to unhook from it. Our anxiety counseling team in Austin can help.
Frequently asked questions
Why can't I just stop worrying?
Because minds are programmed for worry—direct suppression rarely works. The effective approach is redirecting: noticing the worry, judging its usefulness and accuracy, and returning attention to the present.
What if my worry is about a real problem?
Then schedule it. Designated Problem Solving gives real problems focused time in a journal or workbook, so you can remind yourself the rest of the day that it's already being handled.
How long does it take for mindfulness to reduce worry?
It varies—letting go is easier when you're calm and harder when you're stressed. But every repetition of noticing and releasing worry builds the skill, and your brain changes with each attempt.
Get started with a therapist at Austin Mindfulness Center—in person in Austin or online across Texas.
